The Agony and Ecstasy of Summer

That most dreaded and delicious time is upon us at the Ludlum house: summer time.

I became a teacher so that I would always have time off with my kids.  I’d never have to fight my employer to get Christmas, weekends or summer time off.

But now it’s here.  In the anticipation of all of the fun of summer, I am thrilled.  But I also know what’s on the other side of that anticipation - the torture of being home with my kids.  

With less adult interaction and more constant demands to break up fights, encourage sharing, feed the children and tell them what to do or not do - summer becomes a beast of a time.  

I miss adults.  I miss having time to myself that is uninterrupted.  When summer comes, I have all this time on my hands and many of my friends are working.  They can’t do play dates or late drinks.  

I am starved for conversation, but when Jeff comes home, I’m grumpy and I want to get away.

I keep telling myself that I feel this way every year; simultaneously excited and dreading.  I’m trying to prepare myself for the inevitable dive my attitude will take.  I’ll try to get ready for the spike in loneliness and sensitivity.  But I’m not sure it will help.  

I’m trying to get all my resources lined up in advance.  I’m making a schedule, committing to daycare once a week, prepping my crockpot meals (check it out here) and planning on hiring a mother’s helper.  And even with all of that, I’m a little scared.  

My fear shows up in odd places. It’s in forgetting to get dinner started and having to get take-out (darn).  Or trying to find extra time away from my family to go out to dinner or have drinks with a friend. It shows up in my general attitude of being checked out; not communicating with Jeff and feeling less caring at work as odd student behavior increases and my patience decreases.  

Surviving this time may just be about waiting out that transition period in the first couple of weeks as we find our groove and get settled in.  And maybe that's what's required for any change; waiting out the adjustment period and giving the change a chance.

Whatever the case, summer is upon us!  Pray for me (and us)!