On a recent retreat, I sat soaking it all in. I was trying to imagine how I could bring home some serenity and calm to our chaos. Being away from my husband, children and some technology has given me the opportunity to really think.
I see people, including myself, buying souvenirs or searching of the perfect piece of this place to bring home with them. What I realized is that we are all trying to recreate the best parts of this experience for ourselves and our loved ones at home.
For me, the one thing I want to bring home is peace. So far I haven’t found that in any souvenir shop! In the peace I have found here, I can think more clearly. I can see Jeff’s side more easily. I can be more friendly and more easy-going.
But the problem is that once I get home, I’ll be dropped right into chaos. In the chaos, Jeff and I struggle to see each other as we were when we fell in love. In the chaos, I struggle to be fully present with my children as they speed toward full-grown status. I struggle to find space and time to nourish my soul with quiet, reading and writing. I can't see the beautiful things around me every day.
Although peace itself is difficult take with me, there are a few habits I can bring home as souvenirs to try to bring back that peace to my life.
- Dramatically less time on my phone. Being fully disconnected for a large chunk of time helped me remember how to be bored and helped me to see new things and really THINK about everything going on.
- Sitting. I need to find a quiet time and place to sit with myself. Maybe it won’t be like it was before kids; in the morning in the dark, but maybe it’s before bed when all are sleeping. Maybe it’s in my bedroom instead of the living room. Maybe it’s in the backyard or in the garage.
- Being more spontaneous and less pushy. It doesn’t always have to be my way. If i can just relax my expectations and be less rigid in my desires, maybe I will enjoy myself more and everyone will be happier.
- Doing less. When forced to do less, one realizes how liberating it is. It’s more time to shed “obligations” and do what is most beneficial for us instead of what we “have to” do.
- Live more simply. Experiencing this relaxation has me wanting to share it with my family. The only way to do that is to cut way back on spending and try to save. This means fewer nights of takeout, fewer new outfits, fewer new toys… and just generally making space for calm in our home. Also, bringing such a small bag helped remind me of how little I actually need on a daily basis. Clearing out the excess will help create more calm in our lives. It’s time to get back to basics.
