How the Bodyguard changed how I felt about marriage

Remember that movie from the early nineties that starred Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston?  She was a superstar who hired him as her bodyguard, of course the fell in love, yada, yada, yada…

Well, that movie has become a Broadway show and is currently touring.  It recently stopped here in San Jose and of course I had to see it.  I was dying to see some of my favorite teenage love songs sung live.  Of course, the show had terrible reviews, but it was not only a joy-inducing experience for me, but it was also eye-opening.

Jeff and I have been together for eleven years and married for eight years.  We have three kids aged 6, 4 and 3.  People love to tell us that we have our hands full, and we do! With the pressures of work, family, aging parents, and just life in general, married life is not always easy.  We each get frustrated with how the other handles things around the house or with the kids and we struggle to communicate and connect.  It’s nothing out of the ordinary, in my opinion.  We go through the ups and downs that every couple encounters.  

Lately, as the restlessness of spring settles in, I’ve asked myself questions about marriage in general and wondered what others’ experience is in their marriage.  It has made for some interesting conversations.

At any rate, last Tuesday evening, I sat in my comfy theater chair and teared up as some of my favorite songs from eighth grade were performed on stage.  I remembered how much I loved that cheesy movie and how much I just love love stories in general.  

And then something strange happened.

As I was time-warped back into my early teenage years, I remembered the feeling of longing that I had at that time.  All I wanted was to love and be loved in return.  I’m sure it was all hormone related, but the feeling was so strong then.  I wondered if I’d ever find someone who loved me and I wondered what that would be like. Who would that person be? What would he look like?  What would our life be like together? And of course, I often wondered the opposite: what if no one ever loves me? What if I never find this person? What if I live my life alone?

For as long as I can remember, I have longed for a real, romantic love.  And what I realized while watching The Bodyguard is that I have that. I wanted someone who thought I was beautiful, someone who respected me, someone who wanted me just as I was, and that was exactly who I married.  I realized that I am currently living a life where I take for granted that I found someone who loves me as I am even though I am not perfect.  I found someone who committed to me for life both in marriage and in choosing to have kids with me.  I found someone who loves me despite my total insanity, demanding nature and mood swings.

And when I change, he changes too.  We are changing together.  It’s not always smooth, but it’s happening.  

So, The Bodyguard, with all of its cheesy moments and fine music, woke me up.  It woke me up to what I have right in front of me by reminding me what it felt like to want what I have right now.